at the beginning, i am dubious about everyone i ever hire. it's my mechanism for coping. for not knowing or fully trusting the newest hires. every working relationship is entered into with the best possible motives, but that does not mean people will perform well. or fit in. or not drag their big bag of bullshit into the house. i know enough to give it time. trust takes time. my trust in them and their trust in me. six months is usually the benchmark. that's when disillusionment sets in. the beginning is ending and the reality becomes clearer. nothing is perfect. anywhere. ever. signs of negativity, if not properly managed, can creep in. it often takes the form of "my boss is a dick.", "he doesn't know what he's doing." "I could do a much better job running that place..." what is remarkable to me about this attitude is how easily it negates the fact that i've managed to create and grow a handful of businesses for more than twenty years. i don't take it personally. but i do. it's not about me per se. rather it's about the user's interface with what i've created. while some people are never happy unless they are creating misery for others, it's rare. stylists by nature want to be loved. if there is a rub, it's only comes from a lack of respect. or understanding. for good or ill, everyone who has ever worked in our house has added or subtracted to it's culture. those who succeed have the realization that without mutual trust we are all fucked. which would be why i treasure the current team. talent combined with heart. mutual trust is building and it has set me free.

openness is a blessing and a curse. some people cannot handle my raw, naked honesty. it's not my fault. it's not their fault. there is no blame. not everyone is comfortable with honest non-hostile confrontation. sarah's mantra for everyone is own your shit. i'll own that i'm controlling, opinionated, at times obstinate, obtuse and self absorbed. i have the unnerving capacity to state what i think without really thinking. as you might imagine, it can lead to trouble. the upside is that i have an easier time forgiving similar shortcomings in others. still, somedays my level of vocal honesty needs to be reigned in. there are now four of us in the house, workshop to shop floor, who want to be the center of attention. we own it. at times we clash, but we know ourselves. accept ourselves and our imperfections. we work to fit together while everyone else is performing their work brilliantly. sometimes we forget how valuable the quiet people are to our overall success, and then when we do remember, we overachieve to make up for our loud or pushy ways. it's a coping mechanism too. we try very hard to fit in even when we are grabbing the spotlight. it is a winning quality within a dynamic that can be annoying. regardless, everyone in the house is acting from a good place. it's an amazing experience. through honesty and open dialogue, we actively protect one another's weak flank without question. the least stressful thing about my job today is that everyone is working toward the greater good.

recently i had to block myself and a few others who once worked for me from seeing one another's social media. not because of animosity, but because it's best for me. social media is an ethical gray area for intellectual property. the work is borne of the stylist/artist. the photographs belong to the salon. seeing the intellectual property of the salon taken and reposted by someone now working at another salon bother me. is it petty? maybe. does it matter? no. but the best thing for everyone is that i don't see it. social media can also a hotbed of passive aggressive messaging, so i use blocking as a coping mechanism too. i trust myself to know how best to handle these gray areas. not feeding the beast is often the better choice. besides, i doubt anyone even knows or cares if i follow. i reserve that time and attention for the people i love and/or admire most. mostly my coworkers and nieces and nephews and their kids. and travel. and stuff i love. and people doing amazing things in the world.

albert einstein once said "whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters". my mom used to say "trust is earned". either way, i strive to be the kind of person who can live up to these ideals. if i am not being open, if i cannot be truthful about where i stand, i am being neither truthful nor honest. if on some level i operate strategically, it's innate. strategy is a fools game. it takes way too much energy. conversely, through experience i've learned that a group of individuals who can openly state their needs to one another will always grow and prosper. if for no other reason than their energy flows into the work. i think this is how sarah and i have managed to build the business as long as we have. for us it's not a game, it's a way of life. we live it out loud and are vocal about what we do and don't like and why. i feel this within the salon and grooming lounge now. profoundly. commitment to the ideal that the truth will set us free, but often it's going hurt first. it's easier on those who have been through it. harder on the newbies. the level of commitment makes me feel like i've done something well. to see my team thrive and prosper, to work out the daily stuff, to watch out for one another, it is a joy. though still relevant, i am no longer crucial. they have figured out how to share the running of the place for themselves.

when hiring a newbie, trust is the key message i like to impart. with trust, everything is possible. happiness is simply what we choose to make it.